AR Bhat
Sajad Hussain, 48 yrs old resident of Kupwara is the Sarpanch of his village and a respected man. It wasn’t the same 30 yrs ago, he was a militant for almost 2 yrs in the 1990s. When talked about his past, he was very forthcoming and opened up soon. The surge of emotions was evidently visible when he told how he became a terrorist.
It was 1990 and terrorism had just begun in Kashmir. We were young and school going children back then. Slowly the Pakistani infiltrated terrorists reached our villages too and started troubling us in various ways and means. They used the school going kids as porters to carry their loads whenever they needed, started entering our houses threatening the members of the family.
I remember being stopped by a few militants once while coming back from school, they told me that they would harm me and my family if I don’t help them.
By 1993, Army camps came near to our villages and they also started coming to our houses in search of the terrorists. Back then we never could understand who the real enemy was.
We were young and started believing that if we became terrorists ourselves, the Pakistani terrorists will stop entering our houses and troubling us. We crossed the border in 1993, got trained in Pakistan for three months and came back. After coming back we realized that nothing changed but now we were chased by Army too. It was those 2 yrs when I realized that there was no cause for this terrorism. We Kashmiris were told to kill our own Kashmiri brethren for a very misinterpreted term ‘Azadi’. I was active for 2 yrs and then surrendered at Kupwara Army camp. When we went across for training, we were 5. When I surrendered only 2 were alive.
So many have died in the past 30 yrs, for what? Today when I look back, I feel that there is no cause. Some of us became terrorists because we felt that this is the right path, some for adventure and some because they wanted to save themselves from the actual Pakistani terrorists. I have been there and done that, and I feel that there can never be a positive outcome by picking up arms. It’s we who are betraying the country that we live in, i.e, India, by picking up arms. As terrorists we are the actual hindrance towards development, peace and prosperity. When I decided to pick up arms, I had two choices, to continue studying, get a job
and lead a peaceful life or choose to pickup arms. During those days it felt the right thing to do, but when I look back, I felt guilt.
I feel “There’s always a choice”.